8th September 2026, Michaelmas Handshaking Service
“It is an absolute joy to be gathered here together this evening as we embark upon this new academic year. I am very conscious that you may be feeling a little nervous; especially if today constitutes something of a new beginning for you. You may be excited and full of anticipation, but you may also be feeling a little anxious about the prospect of meeting new people and making new friends. Of course, if you are joining Faulkner’s from a small prep school, then the sheer scale of the College grounds might seem a little overwhelming. Don’t worry, you will soon find your way around. It is the case that those of you who have travelled from overseas may feel an especially long way from home at this moment in time.
If you are new to Bradfield, then I hope you will feel the warm embrace of a community that is famously generous, compassionate, and friendly. This is a place where you will be encouraged to be the best version of yourself rather than having your interests channelled in a certain direction or being purposefully moulded into a specific ‘type’ of person. This is a community that celebrates diversity rather than promoting uniformity. This is a community that values collegiality and the benefits of living and working together whilst also recognising and celebrating the wonderful uniqueness of you as an individual.
What does it really mean to experience a sense of belonging? This is a question that I have reflected upon a good deal throughout my life. I have lived in Ireland, the United Arab Emirates and travelled to more than sixty countries. I have lived in no less than twenty-four different properties, ranging from very humble student digs to the considerable grandness of Crossways. I have lived in some of the most socio-economically deprived areas of the UK and experienced life in some of the most affluent places on this planet. As someone who was adopted, I imagine that I imagine that I may reflect more than most people about my identity and what it means to truly belong.
There are times, when I have thought that it would be nice to be settled. When I was a child, I imagined that I would grow up, buy a smart house, with a nice picket fence and neat beds of pretty flowers in the garden. Sometimes I find myself feeling a little envious of people who have accomplished just that. There must be a cosy sense of comfort in knowing that today looks much like yesterday and that tomorrow looks much like today, and yet that life is not for everyone, and family circumstances, career opportunities and the desire for adventure means that many of us live lives that are not so firmly anchored in a specific location.
It strikes me that experiencing a true sense of belonging is not dependent upon remaining in a specific place throughout one’s life or simply repeating a set pattern of behaviour into the future. It is about knowing with certainty that you are loved and secure in your familial relationships. It is about having people in your life who encourage and support you and are there for you even when you are physically apart. It is about friends It is about friendships that endure through the years because you have shared experiences and similar values. Achieving a sense of belonging arises from surrounding yourself with people who speak truth to you without intentionally crushing your sparkle. When you feel that you belong, you know that no matter what challenges you face, the love that others have for you will be a constant and affirming dimension of your life.
Bradfield is a wonderful community because pupils and staff genuinely care about one another. We are a community with a big heart, and we are committed to kindness. We strive to elevate rather than diminish and we routinely think of others before looking after ourselves. In a virtual world that often appears transactional and performative, Bradfield is a place where authenticity and face-to-face human relationships really matter.
One day, you will leave Bradfield, but Bradfield will most likely not leave you for whilst this is physical place located in the beauty of the Pang Valley, it is also a global community of people who share the same experiences and embrace similar values, hopes and dreams. Even were these buildings to crumble, the true spirit of Bradfield would continue to shine with iridescent brightness in the hearts and minds of all who have passed through this place.
It is my dearest hope that you will experience a strong sense of belonging which will help carry with you through your lives. On a personal note, I have no idea where my wife and I will finally settle, if indeed we ever do, but I have come to realise that to live well and experience life in all of its technicoloured beauty, means an openness to embracing change and a willingness to embark upon new adventures.
There are many ways to belong. One of the greatest privileges of my life thus far was the opportunity to work as an educator on the Holocaust Educational Trust’s Lessons from Auschwitz projects. Through my work, I got to know a number of Holocaust survivors. They were exceptional human beings, and I found myself utterly inspired not only by their resilience but by the deep bonds of friendship which existed between them. Often, they would refer to something called the ‘47 Club’. Initially, I did not really understand the significant of the ‘47 Club’ or why it was so important to them. The ‘47 Club’ operated out of the Primrose Club, which was a social and sport club established in the summer of 1947 in Belsize Park, in North-West London. It was managed by Paul Mayer, a German-Jewish youth leader and refugee. It provided support for a group of 732 child and teenage camp survivors brought to the UK by the Central British Fund. Its purpose was to provide vital services and a community hub for young, mostly orphaned Holocaust survivors. The Club helped the children to integrate into British society whilst maintaining the unique bond that existed amongst the survivors. The 47 Club was short-lived. The Victorian house in which it was accommodated was sold off and turned into private flats in 1949. However, the bonds of friendship which were created in that place have endured a lifetime and the sense of belonging created by the Club sustained many Holocaust survivors as they faced the challenging of rebuilding their lives in post-war Britain. In the summer of 2022, my wife and I were involved in establishing a community hub for Ukrainians fleeing conflict in their home country and creating a sense of togetherness seemed especially important at that at that time. I would gently suggest that all of us here should be alive to our responsibility to inspire those around us to experience an authentic sense of belonging. The desire to feel safe, valued and loved is universal. Happily, the ability to create connections with one another is a gift that we all possess.
In her book, ‘Coming of Age’ the psychologist Lucy Foulkes writes extensively about adolescent friendships and what these relationships teach young people about empathy, support, and how to navigate the social world. She argues that the desire to be popular is often accompanied by intense anxiety. Ascending fierce hierarchical structures can be every bit as stressful as feeling lonely. She observes that popularity tends to be fleeting and that in adulthood, we tend to look back most fondly on those of our school friends who were kind. The pursuit of popularity as an end in itself tends to be self-serving and self-regarding, whereas the desire to be kind is motivated by a sincere desire to serve others. Of course, if you are kind in a quiet and unobtrusive way, then you will win the enduring respect of those around you. Much like the members of the 47 Club, you will find that the bonds you form will endure long beyond this time and place.
In a little while, we will shake hands with one another and then return to boarding ho uses. For many of us, it is the moment when the forthcoming term really feels as if it has started. There will be about 120,000 individual handshakes and probably just as many smiles and nervous giggles. It is a tradition that is symbolic of our togetherness as a community and the importance of treating one another with kindness and respect.
Let us pray,
Gracious God, we come to you at the beginning of this new academic year with our hopes, fears, and expectations. Grant us your grace, ease our anxieties, and fill our lives with your wisdom, patience, and peace. Amen.”
